Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Being an Aussie
Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for A Belgian beer, then on the way home, grabbing an Indian curry or A Turkish kebab, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
Oh and...... Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all
the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the
garage.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.
58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with
a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up
into the toilet.
<
Oh and...... Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all
the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the
garage.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.
58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with
a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up
into the toilet.
<
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Lindsay Lohan: wot they r saying
Her Mom:
"I am sick over this. My children, my family, we are like prisoners in our own home because paparazzi [are stalking us] outside [our]home. Lindsay is in a safe place, and we are trying to strategically work out our next step."
Her lawyer:
“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care.”
Jay Leno:
“You know, we had Lindsay Lohan booked for our show tonight, but apparently she was ALREADY ‘booked.’ I thought our competition was Letterman and Nightline, but it turns out its Cops and America’s Most Wanted.”
"I am sick over this. My children, my family, we are like prisoners in our own home because paparazzi [are stalking us] outside [our]home. Lindsay is in a safe place, and we are trying to strategically work out our next step."
Her lawyer:
“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care.”
Jay Leno:
“You know, we had Lindsay Lohan booked for our show tonight, but apparently she was ALREADY ‘booked.’ I thought our competition was Letterman and Nightline, but it turns out its Cops and America’s Most Wanted.”
Britney has a naughty...
...dog
Naughty things Britney Spears did during an interview and photo shoot with OK Magazine ;
*Wiped her greasy hands on a $274 designer gown during lunch.
*Took frequent bathroom breaks - with the door open! - and even brought her assistant in with her.
*Insisted her ....friends,'' not the hired professionals, do her hair and makeup while complaining that the wardrobe provided by the magazine's stylists wasn't "sexy,'' "short'' or "tight'' enough.
*Fled the shoot and interview before it was over - still wearing $14,526 worth of OK!'s borrowed clothing.
Not to be outdone, Britney's puppy pooped on a $6700 Zac Posen gown.
"Neither Britney or her assistant, bothered to clean it up until the coordinator demanded it be taken care of,'' the mag says. Her minions finally scooped it up with a tissue.
Sources say the puppy is booked into doggie rehab…
Naughty things Britney Spears did during an interview and photo shoot with OK Magazine ;
*Wiped her greasy hands on a $274 designer gown during lunch.
*Took frequent bathroom breaks - with the door open! - and even brought her assistant in with her.
*Insisted her ....friends,'' not the hired professionals, do her hair and makeup while complaining that the wardrobe provided by the magazine's stylists wasn't "sexy,'' "short'' or "tight'' enough.
*Fled the shoot and interview before it was over - still wearing $14,526 worth of OK!'s borrowed clothing.
Not to be outdone, Britney's puppy pooped on a $6700 Zac Posen gown.
"Neither Britney or her assistant, bothered to clean it up until the coordinator demanded it be taken care of,'' the mag says. Her minions finally scooped it up with a tissue.
Sources say the puppy is booked into doggie rehab…
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Horse moves in with family, trashes house
Did you hate sharing with brothers or sisters when you were growing up?
Ever share a house with messy room mates?
Spare a thought for a poor kid in Modesto, California whose parents made him
share the family home with…a horse and 7 dogs.
Not only did the child now have to fight for the bathroom and the TV remote, things got so bad he had to sleep in a tent to keep the flies off!
(Modesto kid's new room mate)
(Kid 'slept in tent to protect himself from the infestation of flies')
(Dog: horse 'did not follow cleaning roster')
Modesto CA: A family was discovered living with seven dogs and a horse inside their house. Animal control officials say the waste and flies were so thick, a child in the home slept inside his bedroom
in a tent.
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